Them, Babysit Me?
by Corad and Bijoux
Summary: One day Seto leaves for a work convention and hires Yugi and co. to babysit Mokuba while he's gone. If only Seto knew the horrors that happen in his household while he's away...if only he knew...
1. You're Leaving!

**Bijoix: This story is based on the theory that Yami's and Hikari's have their own seperate bodies, so Yami (atemu), Marik (yami Marik), Malik (Hikari Marik), Ryou (Hikari Bakura), Bakura (Yami Bakura)...I don't own Yugioh. I own this story's plot wothout Corad. **

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****Them…..Baby Sit Me….?**

**Chapter 1- You're leaving?!!**

It was a grand day for Mokuba. He awoke with high spirits and happiness in his brains. Today was the day of happiness for him!!

"YOU'RE LEAVING?!!!" Mokuba hissed at his older brother as he stood hunched over his bed packing a suitcase.

"Only for a few days Mokuba, you'll be fine here…." Kaiba mumbled as he dashed into his underwear drawer and pulled about thirty pairs out. He thrashed back to the case and pushed the mass of jocks into it. He growled like a bear as he tried to force the case shut. He kept failing so he found himself putting the case in the doorway and slamming the door on it. Kaiba sighed with victory then headed down the stairs toward the front door.

"But Seto!!" Mokuba moaned as he scurried after Kaiba, "what if something happens to me?!! What if….what if….what if a bear broke in and devoured me on the spot?!! Huh?! Huh?!! Then you'd regret leaving me here!! And what happens when I get hungry?!!" Mokuba hissed as the two reached the front door.

"(sigh) relax Mokuba! I'm not leaving you all alone! Not for the whole week anyway! I've hired Yugi and a couple of his weener friends to look after you….now don't you have that Barney thing to go watch?!" Kaiba hissed as he opened the door and walked out it.

"Big brother, I haven't watched that show in years!!" Mokuba angrily growled as he followed Seto out the door.

"SETO!!!!!!!!!!!!" Mokuba hissed as Kaiba hopped onto his copter and flew away.

Mokuba angrily growled and strode back inside. He was turning red with all the fury and rage burning inside him.

"RRRGGGHHH!! Sometimes he makes me so!! He makes me so!!!! OH!!! SOMETIMES HE MAKES ME SO DAMN An- (checks watch) hey!! Barney's on!!!!" Mokuba rushed into the lounge and collapsed onto the carpet. He turned the TV on and stared longingly at the screen.

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Bijoux: Okay that chapter was pretty short...kinda like Corad's memory span...heh yeah...I can insult her to hell now that she's bummed is a dork! Corad is a dork...Hey...that's pretty rich comming from me....oh well...please review...and I don't own Barney... 


	2. Okaaaay

**Bijoux: I don't own Yugioh. Thankyou for reviewing this story it makes me so happy...(wipes tears from eyes) anyone who reads this story please read and review Corad's story...it's called 'Jerry Springer Mishap' or something...last time I checked no one had reviewed it...it broke poor Corad's heart to have no reviews...and on her birthday...so please read and review her story as well... **

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****Chapter 2- Okaaaaay....**

Mokuba was so indulged in Barney repeating the same thing, "2 2 is 4", that he didn't hear the door open. He got quite the shock when he turned to see Marik glaring at him.

"Look kid! I don't like you! And you don't like me!" Marik hissed at Mokuba who had now turned completely round to see Marik.

"I like you…." Mokuba whimpered. Marik rolled his eyes then continued.

"So I'll go off and do my things- things which older people do- while you go off and do your stuff! Okay?" Marik said in a girly tone. He then picked up a magazine from the coffee table and strode over to the couch. He began to read it. Laughing at certain things as he went along.

Mokuba went back to the TV. He didn't really understand why Marik was babysitting him….he had the sudden urge to ask. He wiped the tear from his cheek that appeared every time the ending credits rolled down the page for Barney. He turned around and stared at Marik. Marik glanced over the magazine then went back to reading.

Mokuba stilled sat there staring at him. Marik glanced over the mag again and tried to ignore Mokuba. Mokuba still stared.

"Okay that's it!! What the hell do you want from me?!!!" Marik screamed as he threw the magazine to floor and glared at Mokuba.

"Oh…I was just wondering why you wanted to baby-sit…." Mokuba squeaked as Marik tried to calm down.

"Look little girl!" Marik began.

"Boy…." Mokuba corrected him.

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU ARE!!!!!!! Just look okay, when you're a little older you're gonna learn the term of money….now, instead of asking your older brother to buy you Barbie dolls for Christmas, you're gonna want money….do you understand? Gooood! Now, your big brother has promised to give me lots and lots of money, if I look after you for a little while, okay?" Marik went through the process of money. Mokuba kept rolling his eyes during the speech, what the hell did Marik think he was…?

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm trying to laugh at Madonna, she fell out a plane you know, it's quite funny to see pictures of her guts being pealed of the White House and American President Gorge W Bush you know…." Marik sighed as he picked up the magazine and flipped back to his favourite page.

Mokuba sighed loudly and stared at Marik. He wanted attention and aimed to get it, soon… Marik had the feeling Mokuba was looking at him again so he glanced over the mag again. He spotted Mokuba sitting there smiling at him.

"Okay twerp! What do you want now?" Marik hissed as he threw the mag away, and stormed over to Mokuba.

"I'm bored….will you play with me…?" Mokuba whimpered as he stared at Marik with puppy dog eyes.

Marik sighed and rolled his eyes with annoyance.

"Do I have to?!" Marik boomed as he crossed his arms.

"Please….?" Mokuba whined, a forced out tear rolled down his face.

Marik sighed and rolled his eyes again. He sat down on the floor next to Mokuba. Mokuba clapped gleefully and chanted, "Yeah! He's gonna play with me!!" Marik rolled his eyes again.

After a while Mokuba and Marik were playing scrabble. Mokuba appeared to be winning….

"You stupid kid!! That's not how you spell it!!" Marik hissed at the sight of Mokuba's sloppy spelling.

"Well then how do you spell it?!" Mokuba screamed back.

"Well you've got everything right until the middle!" Mark boomed, spit covered the board.

Mokuba realised a new plot of revenge….revenge for all the times Marik had humiliated Yugi and co. he slit his eyes and mentally laughed, evilly in his head.

"Well then how do you spell it…?" Mokuba casually asked, he eyed Marik.

"That's easy! It's 'I C U P" Marik said. Mokuba laughed.

"Hey….wait a minute…..YOU SICK CHILD!!!!" Marik screamed as he jumped to his feet and glared at Mokuba as he had a laughing fit on the floor.

"You-yo-you're the one that said it!!!" Mokuba laughed as he rolled all over the place.

"OKAY!!! That's it!! I have a new game!!! It's called let's live in the closet and leave Marik alone!!!" Marik screeched as he picked Mokuba up by the scruff of his neck and carried him upstairs. Marik opened the closet door and threw Mokuba in it. He slammed the door and stormed into the dunny. He carried his magazine in his back pocket.

Marik happily sat on the dunny (won't give detail on what he's actually doing…probably don't wanna know… although it's fairly obvious…) he read his magazine happily. He laughed as he read the Madonna page again.

_Madonna faced tragedy today when she flew out an open window on her private jet._

_Her pilot and crew claim it was all a April fools joke. Most people love these Madonna murderers now, as they won't have to put up with her anymore. _

_She was sitting in her seat when all the crew opened the one window all the way. She flew out like a paper bag and fell to her demise. _

_She was later seen being scrapped off the White House roof and the cement around it. Gorge W Bush was also sprayed with a hose and fumigated after Madonna's spine went down his jacket, and her left eye down his pants. _

Marik cackled like a monkey on drugs at the pictures provided.

_Michael Jackson claims that Madonna will be his new idol as they are both so alike, "I've always wanted to be around some one who knows what it's like to be falling apart…." Jackson declared after forcing some of Madonna's hair, her right eye, her nose and eyebrows into his pants pocket to be used for his own body. _

Marik laughed as he flushed the dunny and washed his hands. He stumbled out the bathroom and went to check on Mokuba. He opened the closet door with caution, but was horrified when he realized Mokuba had escaped…

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Bijoux: Um...I'd also like to point out thatI don't like to bring offence to people so if you like Michael Jackson or Maddonna or any other thing I make fun of in this...then yeah...no offence...anyway please review this thing... 


	3. We're All Morons

**Bijoux: Thanks for the reviews people it made me so happy...until Corad started to complian that no one loved her on her birthday, because they didn't review her first fic (Mishap on Jerry Springer)...then she was so happy when she realized that some one had found it in their heart to...if only she hadn't stayed up till like...12:30 pm....grrr....err I don't own Yugioh...too stupid to...I sleep now...(falls asleep. Appears to be snoring like some form of pig beast....)**

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****Chapter 3- We're All Morons… **

"I'm not that stupid you know…." Mokuba sighed from in the hallway. Marik spun around and glared at Mokuba.

"Look kid, you may as well stop this little, 'let's kill off the baby sitter', now, because you'll probably find yourself failing miserably and only making me angrier! Therefore I end up killing you!" Marik hissed as he walked out the closet and slammed the door behind him.

"Now, who wants to throw stuff at Yugi?" Marik said as he calmed down and turned his attention onto Yugi who was running around outside with a kite.

"Um….Tea says that's wrong…." Mokuba sulked.

"Well Tea's not here is she….?" Marik hissed.

"Um actually…" Tea said. Marik spun around and almost died at the sight of Tea standing right behind him.

"What the hell do you want women?!!" Marik hissed as he waved his rod threateningly at Tea. Tea narrowed her eyes and glared at Marik. She pushed the rod away from he neck and strode over to Mokuba.

"Mokuba, what has he done to you?" Tea sighed as she bent down next to the used scouring sponge on legs and patted his back.

"Err…nothing yet….." Mokuba replied as he looked at the ground.

"Look you!" Marik howled as he pushed Tea aside, "I have done nothing to this little girl!"

"Boy…." Mokuba and Tea corrected Marik. Marik dropped his eyebrows to form a bored expression on his face.

"WHATEVER! (Sigh) now…as I was saying….. (Clear throat noise) I have done nothing to this thing and I don't intend to waste my precious energy on it! Do you have any idea how much EBay is charging me to stay alive?!!!!" Marik boomed as he pushed Mokuba away this time, and stormed closer to Tea.

Tea rolled her eyes- 'typical male…always in hurry to get somewhere without even knowing where they're going….'

"Yeah….typical male alright Tea…." Mokuba sighed.

Tea turned a worried gaze upon Mokuba….how did he know what Tea had just thought….?

"Mokuba….I don't understand….." Tea shakily said.

"It's okay Tea….always be right here…." Mokuba said as he placed his pointer finger which now appeared to be glowing to his chest (yes…I believe it is imitation ET….).

Tea shook her head….she knew she shouldn't have eaten those cupcakes she'd found on the way in….

'Okay…I think it's over….' Tea told herself.

"Right here…." Mokuba repeated.

"OKAY THAT'S IT!! I'm goin home….." Tea sighed as she walked away. Marik appeared to have been giving her a lecture; he looked offended when she walked away when he was still talking…

"Hummmph…stupid women….so inconsiderate! Every last one of em!" Marik hissed as the front door slammed shut, "Well, maybe all accept you my pretty!" Marik said in a sissy tone as he wondered over to a window and gazed at a granny sitting on her porch on the street below. The granny smiled and waved at Marik, Marik sagged down, the window his only support, he waved back in a goofy way (like when people are in love).

"Yes Aggatha…..you are my little pretty…." Marik sighed as he continued to wave. Mokuba raised an eyebrow, why the hell did Marik have special feelings for a granny?

Marik sighed like a school girl as he lowered his arm. Mokuba snorted, he then began laughing like a pig that had been drugged then rolled down an extremely steep hill.

Marik spun around, anger glowed in his eyes.

"WHAT THE DAMN BLOODY HELL IS SO BLOODY DAMN HELL FUNNY?!!!!!" Marik thundered as he stormed angrily over to Mokuba, who laughed harder.

"GRRRRRR!!!" Marik growled, he was about to whack Mokuba over the head when he heard the door bell ring. "Oooo, door!!!" Marik yelped as he slid down the stair railing. Marik apparently fell off the railing halfway, because Mokuba heard an almighty crash on the floor below, followed by an almighty curse….

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Bijoux: (Still asleep. Some one probs it with stick. Wakes up.) What the hell was that?!! Anyway....please review....I'm sleepy...and that thing wants me to go to a pool party today...heh....yeah right....pool beast....heh...yeah that's my mum's boyfriend's name when he goes to the pool...well...what's left of the pool,after he jumps in...heh....yeah... 

Corad: Don't insult Scoty...and you said you might consider going to that party....

Bijoux: Get outta my life...(throws Tv at Corad...VCR and Playstation 2 are still attached to it by wires...they hit her too...) Heh....you stupid moocher!!! Hehehehehhahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa!! Um...yeah....I'm not crazy...(coughs)....


	4. Invasion of the Idiots

Bijoux: I don't own Yugioh. Err...yeah...well...enjoy...

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Chapter 4- Invasion of the idiots… 

Mokuba laughed at the sound of Marik abusing the staircase. The doorbell kept going off in the background, Mokuba soon heard Marik cursing it as well….

"Would you all shut the hell up?!!!" Marik screamed at the ceiling, Mokuba stopped laughing; the doorbell stopped ringing and the cars outside stopped. The doorbell rang again. Marik glared at the door, the doorbell melted (okay so maybe this didn't happen…whattya gonna do?).

Marik had soon calmed down enough to open the door, he was automatically pissed when he spotted Joey, Duke, Tea, Yugi and Tristan standing there with smiles spread over their faces.

"Sorry I don't want any…." Marik hissed as he tried to close the door, Joey pushed it open again and Tea and Yugi wandered into the foyer of the house. Marik angrily sighed; he let Joey open the door all the way, now that the two biggest losers were in the house; the damage had already been done.

"Hi Marik!" Yugi squeaked as he wandered over to Marik and smiled up at him.

"Hi loser….." Marik muttered under his breathe.

"Now Marik, language like that isn't nice…." Yugi said, his smile turned upside down and into a frown.

"What the…?! How did you….?" Marik panicked over the fact of Yugi hearing his last comment.

"Oh Marik, when you're this low the ground you always hear everything…..that's why you don't tell secrets around the floor!" Yugi stared up at Marik; Marik still looked confused as anything.

"So…..you got cable in here….?" Tristan said as he and Duke casually wandered into the lounge room. Marik rolled his eyes.

"Probably……" Marik muttered with boredom.

"ALRIGHT!!!!!" Yami said as he stampeded into the house, he had kind of appeared out of nowhere.

"Yami….?" Yugi sighed, "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be babysitting grandpa…." Yugi looked angry as he followed Yami into the lounge room.

"Oh I left him in the tub…." Yami replied as he sat in the middle of the couch next to Duke and Tristan.

Yugi rolled his eyes.

(At Yugi's house)

Solomon was whimpering from the bath tub.

"Umm….hello….? I'd like to get out now…..Yami….? Yugi…..? Tea…..? (Groaning mumble of a voice) Malik….?" Solomon whimpered.

No reply….

(Back at the Kaiba mansion)

Yugi again rolled his eyes. He decided to watch TV as well soon later. He sat in a bundle on the floor.

"Hey! I've heard of this show! Isn't this the one when animals attack Magicians?!!" Duke squealed with happiness at the sight of monkey chasing Houdini off his stage and down the street.

Everyone laughed.

Marik and Tea joined the TV dwellers.

Numerous hours later….

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Bijoux: Whatever....You know the drill by now...review or die....review or die....Heh...(holds up right and left fists) Hospital, (Lifts right hand higher), Death (lifts left hand higher), Hospital....Death...? 

Corad: Leave the people alone...you should be thanking them for even bothering with your crappyness of a story...

Bijoux: At least I have more that one reader...

Corad: Shut up...remember if you're board you can go read my story...It'll make me happy...It's called 'Mishap on Jerry Springer'

Bijoux: It may not seem interesting to you people but it's really funny...so yeah...you should read and review it...please...


	5. The Horrors of Mokuba’s Bed…

**Bijoux: I don't own Yugioh...if I did the building where they make it would be sliding down mount Everust (However you spell that big mountain thing...) right now...be aware that this chapter is kinda grosse...like not too grosse but...um yeah..it can't be worse than what chapter 9 is...anyway please enjoy...**

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Chapter 5- The Horrors of Mokuba's Bed…**

Mokuba had been sent to bed about 3 hours ago. It was now around 11:00 pm, everyone was still watching the TV. It appeared that they were now watching "When Gorilla's attack race car drivers that are coming first"

(TV screen)

A massive female gorilla was chasing a red sports car that appeared to be coming first. The gorilla (who was later revealed as being named Pepper-Ann, who had escaped form the zoo down the road) hopped on top of the red car and banged on the roof impatiently. The drive got worried and swerved off the road. He went crashing into a wall and exploded. Pepper-Ann had been smart enough not to be on the car when it exploded.

Another car (this one yellow) then revved up to the start. Pepper-Ann stopped and picked up a massive rock, she heaved it above her head as she made gorilla war cries. She then pegged the rock as hard as she could at the car. The rock went through the back windscreen and collided with the drivers screaming head. The driver was knocked unconscious (maybe later dead) and swerved of the road and down a hill. He then hit a tree and the engine caught alight with fire.

Pepper-Ann laughed. All the over car drivers had realized what had happened to the past two leaders of the crowd. They had all started worrying that they could be next so they had all slowed down and formed a nice neat even line that went from side of the race track to the other.

A blue car started to go a bit out of line.

"Uhhuuuhuuuuuh!!" Pepper-Ann waved her finger at the blue car in manner of he was in the wrong. The driver nervously laughed then slowed down so much that he was half the race behind the overs.

Another car (this one green) got impatient and drove ahead of everyone else. Pepper-Ann got angry she growled at the driver and pointed a wall. The driver got nervous and did as the gorilla told him to. He turned sharply off the road and into a wall.

Pepper-Ann laughed like a mad scientist as she bent her fingers, her arms above her head and she tilted her head to sky.

The over drivers looked nervously at each other.

(Reality)

"Umm….Mr. Marik sir…." Mokuba had appeared next to Marik. He was tugging on his cape.

"Grrrrr…..what…." Marik hissed as he took his eyes off the TV and onto Mokuba.

"Um…..I wet the bed….." Mokuba said as he blushed.

Marik lowered his eyebrows to form a tired and sorry for face expression.

"Well….why don't you go talk to Yugi….?" Marik said as he looked over at Yugi, Yugi mouthed the words 'as if' to him then went back to the TV.

"O-or…. Tristan…..or Duke….?" Mark said as he nervously looked at the two morons (aka Tristan and Duke).

"Oh no you don't! He went to you, so you deal with it!" Tristan hissed at Marik as he switched the channel- due to the news. Marik rolled his eyes then climbed to his feet. He groaned as he headed up the stairs and into Mokuba's room.

20 minutes later….

Marik had returned. He looked shocked and bedraggled- like when Cocoa (pet hen) stays out in the rain for too long and doesn't know why she's soaking wet…..

The TV now seemed to be showing "When Grandmas throw over ripe tomatoes at passing cars"…..

Every now and then you'd hear some one from the TV screaming cursive words at some random old women on the street path. You'd then hear a Grandma say score or make celebrating noises….on some occasions you'd even hear a bottle of alcohol have its cork popped off. After the celebrations you'd hear a tomato splat on another car, sometimes the grannies missed and they would be the ones cursing….except for the special addition when one of them hit the mayor instead of a black convertible with its roof off.

"Um….Mr. Marik….." Mokuba squeaked 10 minutes later. He was tugging on Marik's cape again. "I had another accident….." Mokuba whimpered.

"WHAT?!! YOU PISSED YOUR BED AGAIN?!!!!!!" Marik screamed as he stood up from the couch and glared down at Mokuba.

"Um….that and something else….." Mokuba whimpered as he backed away.

"Oh dear god damn god hell damn hell god damn hell no….." Marik whimpered.

Marik stumbled up the stairs in his orderly fashion; he walked into Mokuba's bedroom and almost died. He knew it was waiting for him….he just didn't want to admit it….

20 minutes later….

Marik stumbled back down the stairs; he looked like he had just been encountered by a rabid gorilla from outta space, with killer beer breath….

Marik managed to fall down the stairs about halfway….but he didn't really care…he just slid down the rest of the stairs like when the big five got drunk that time and they managed to push the whole of Kiaba corp. down some mountain somewhere….he much resembled this encounter from last Christmas…indeed…..

Tea sighed and got to her feet, she felt bad leaving Marik half dead on the base of the stairs. She put her arms under his armpits and pulled him to his feet. She then let go of him, hoping he could stand by himself…he began to fall to floor. Tea was about to grab Marik again…she really was….

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Bijoux: Please review...err thanks for the reviews for the past chapter as well...err...yeah...heh...I gave our christmas tree a face by using a strange variaty of christmas decoractions...it's looking out the window longinly right now...heh...if it thinks its gonna escape my estranged family then it was wrong...dead wrong...>.> YOU CRAZY TREE!!!

Corad: You've lost it.

Bijoux: I believe I never had it to begin with...


	6. NUN!

**Bijoux: I don't own Yugioh...if I did, the studio would be teetering off the Eiffel Tower as we speak...anyway, I hope this chapter woun't be offensive to Nun people...enjoy...**

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Chapter 6- NUN!!! **

Marik was about to hit the ground when the doorbell rang.

"Hey!! The pizza is here!!!!" Tristan screamed excitedly from the lounge.

"Oooo!!! PIZZA!!!!" Marik thundered as he automatically stopped falling and went back up without really even moving (like that guy from the black eyed peas video clip for let's get it started). He zoomed to the front door with the hope of food in his brain. He opened the door and almost had a heart attack at the mere sight of **_IT _**…..It wore black….it wore white….and you'd better believe it wasn't a mouldy mushroom pizza….oh no! It was much, much worse….yes…**_IT_** was….A NUN!!!!!!

Marik screamed, the nun screamed, Tristan came to the door, he screamed, the nun screamed, Tristan screamed, Marik screamed, the dishwasher screamed, the monkey in the attic that no one could get out; screamed…..they all screamed….

"KILL IIIIIIITT!!!!" Marik screamed as he pointed at the nun. The nun gasped with fear as Tristan heaved it on his shoulder and ran screaming round in circles.

"Quick! Quick! Put it in the bin!! The rubbish get's collected tonight!!!" Marik screamed at Tristan who automatically responded by running over to the garbage can. He did the whole super man smash something into the floor look (like on football, or on Ice Age when Sid throws the watermelon at the ground) and shoved the nun in the bin.

The truck automatically pulled up and picked up the garbage. It emptied the filth into its compartment and drove away.

As the entrance on the back of the truck was closing Marik and Tristan could just see the nun disappearing into the distance they could just hear her screams….

"I regret NOTHING!!!!!" The nun screamed. The truck managed to swerve off the road and into a cliff, it then exploded.

"Whew….I is glad that's over….." Tristan sighed as he wiped sweat off his face and went into the house again. Tristan managed to lock Marik outside.

10 minutes later….

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Bijoux: Okay that was pretty short...I'll update sooner...I think...anyway...um...yeah...please review...or you'll be teetering off the EiffelTower!! 

Corad: Yeah...

Bijoux: Do you have to destroy all my threats...?

Corad: Yes...yes I do

Bijoux: Pig...


	7. WIIIIIIIIILLMAAAAAAAAA!

**Bijoux: Okay...I'm sorry I haven't updated this in a while...I was kindaasked to continue updating this story, by Yu-Gi-Oh Nutter...and so yeah...**

**I don't own Yugioh...If I did, the voice actors, animaters, employees ectwould bestreet bums and or monkeys...****

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Chapter 7- WIIIIIIIIIILLMAAAAAAAA!**

"Come Marik just say the line and bang on the door like you mean it!" Tristan called out the window to Marik who was stamping his foot impatiently on the ground.

"I refuse to make and idiot of myself! In case you are yet to realize baboon brain, some people in this world like to keep their dignity!" Marik screamed.

"Like who?" Tristan asked with excitement in his tone.

"Well there's me, Bakura, me….Malik….me….Bakura…..and Solomon (Shows Solomon standing there with a smile on his face. he's wearing a tuxedo and his teeth are really shiny, some one whistles)….and that's about it….." Marik moaned.

"Now can come inside? I have to go to the bathroom……" Marik mumbled.

"Not until you say the line!!" Tristan complained.

Marik groaned and rolled his eyes.

"Tristan……" Marik unenthusiastically moaned as he slammed his fist on the door with little energy.

"NOOOO!! NOT LIKE THAT!! God Marik….don't you watch the Flintstones?" Tristan complained to Marik.

"Sorry, I don't do kiddie shows…." Marik mumbled.

"Come on! Just do it….." Tristan moaned.

"Reeergh….." Marik growled at Tristan. He rolled his eyes then tried again.

"TRISTAN!!!" Marik screamed.

"Bang on the door! And put more feeling into it!!" Tristan yelled.

Marik rolled his eyes. He sighed angrily and was about to try again when something caught his attention. He heard a growl behind him so he spun around.

Marik screamed at the sight of a big, brown grizzly bear behind him. The grizzly bear looked harmless (like one from the Simpsons) but it managed to scare Marik so much that he didn't need to go to the bathroom anymore…..

"(Scream) TRISTANT!!!!! TRISTAAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!!!!!!!!!!" Marik screamed at the top of his lungs as he banged hard on the door. "LET ME IN!!!!" Marik screamed, tears welling in his eyes. Marik turned around and spotted the bear staring right at him….

(Baer vision- like a robot's vision)

According to the bears vision Mark was labled fun, on the count of it was written on the screen. Marik started screaming. A message appeared "Play with!" Another message appeared "Eat his pants…."

(Normal vision)

"Nice bear…….nice bear……" Marik whimpered as the bear advanced on Marik.

(Bear vision)

Message "Ready…..Aim….FIRE!!"

(Normal)

Marik screamed as the bear tackled him the floor and tore off his pants in a playful manner.

Tea stared at Marik as he squirmed under the weight of the bear she found it terrifying…to see Marik in his underwear….

"Oh my god! Marik is being attacked by a bear!" Tea screamed. "Hey it goes well with this song…" Tea listened to the song as she laughed at Marik. The others turned from the TV and its channel V and stared out the window at Mark.

You had to admit that Tea had a point…Brittany Spears 'Every time' did go rather well with Marik trying to escape the bear…on the count of sometimes it looked like he was singing…and you couldn't hear his girly screams…so it looked like he intended to sing.

"Maybe we should help him….." Duke muttered.

"Nah…." Joey mumbled as another song that matched it came on, this one was U2 Beautiful Day.

'Hehehhehehehe…..Marik get bitten in embarrassing place….." Tristan laughed.

"Heheheheh…..funny….." Yami laughed.

Marik screamed so loud that it made car alarms go off and make dogs bark in respondence.

10 minutes later…

Marik lay half dead on the floor, he'd managed to retrieve some more of his pants (probably has a whole wardrobe full of creamy-brown pants). Marik moaned as he adjusted his ice pack (which lies in a place not to ever be mentioned).

Tea rolled her eyes, had Marik no decency left? 'Why the hell is he just lying there…? Gripping an ice pack to his **_you know what_**…he's lost his ability of descent….' Tea hissed to herself in her brain. She had already told Marik that it was a bad look to be lying there like that…in that pose…he'd just ignore this comment every time some one would point it out.

Marik moaned with pain. Joey soon got sick of Marik moaning and rolling about on the mat as if wanting to get together with it.

"Would you shut the (Beep) hell up?!!" Joey thundered as he got up from his place on the couch and strolled over to Marik. Joey dragged Marik upstairs into a spare room; he dumped Marik on the double bed and angrily slammed the door shut. He then stormed back down to the TV set.

Marik whimpered from his new bed, he'd dropped his ice pack on the staircase and couldn't go out and retrieve it…due to the fact that it hurt to walk…

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Bijoux: Sorry if this was kinda disturbing...but anyway...please review... 


	8. Disturbing, at its best

**Bijoux: Okay, I'm warning you now, this is a really disturbing chapter...so if you're gonna go and get all mad and angry at me for posting it up then...really...if I've warned you then you really only have yourself to blame...it won't mean anything to the rest of the story if you don't read this chapter...but anyway...most of the people who may read this story might just want to go off to a better quality author (cough) Yu-Gi-Oh Nutter (cough)...err anyway...yeah...I don't own Yugioh...**

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Chapter 8- Disturbing…at it's best…**

4 hours later….

Everyone else had gotten tired of TV (surprisingly) and had either gone home or some had chosen to stay at the mansion for the night.

Yugi, Yami, Tea and Joey had decided to stay while Tristan and Duke went home.

"Um guys……" Tea mumbled as she headed up the stairs after the other guys.

"What is it Tea?" Yugi squeaked as he stopped going up the stairs and turned to face Tea.

"Is that Marik's?" Tea whimpered as she pointed to a ice pack that was half melted on the stairs.

Yami came back down and examined it. He picked it up and put it in his mouth.

"EWWWW!!!! YAMI!!!" Yugi screamed as he snatched the ice pack out of Yami's grip, "Don't put it in your mouth!! You **_know_** where _it's_ been!!!!!" Yugi yelled as Yami tried to get his new found friend back. Yami failed at the task and managed to start crying.

Tea sighed and rolled her eyes before following Joey up the stairs again, Yugi and Yami soon began to follow. At the top base of the stairs they all came to halt. There were heaps of rooms….but they had remembered Seto saying that some did not have proper beds or bedding for that matter….

Joey called dibs on the first room they came across; he didn't want to be forced into a bed with Marik, like at least 1 of the others would have to be. Tea soon found a room and called dibs on it. So that left Yami and Yugi to wander about the hallway. they however had no luck in finding anymore rooms….so they had to sleep with Marik in the double bed.

Yugi and Yami crept into the room trying not to wake Marik…that was if he was asleep… he was moaning and crying and swearing at the same time as he fidgeted about in the bed.

"Hey Marik….we have to share this bed with you….." Yugi sighed as he sat on the bed and untied his shoelaces. Yami went to the other side of the bed and did the same.

Yugi then took his shoes off and turned to Marik.

"Oh, Tea found this on the stairs as well…." Yugi murmured as he handed Marik the ice pack from his pocket. Marik kissed the pack and shoved it down his undies with pride.

They then all went to sleep.

After a while Yugi had fallen asleep and Yami was pretending to be asleep….even thought you could see his hand trying to go down Marik's pants every now and then….

Yugi rolled over and slapped Marik in the face by accident; he then left his hand on Marik's disgruntled face.

"If you should die before you wake….." Marik hissed at Yugi through gritted teeth.

Yami laughed at this gesture. Marik rolled his eyes.

Marik forced Yugi away then rested his eyelids; he was just about asleep when he was awoken by some one touching a certain body part of his…..

"YUGI!! Get the hell off my hand!" Marik screeched as he practically catapulted Yugi out the bed with one hand, Yugi flew up into the air and hit the ceiling, he then hit the floor and rolled over and hit a wall. Yugi however was still asleep.

"God Yugi is sure a heavy sleeper…." Marik moaned as he raised an eyebrow at Yugi who lay asleep on the floor.

"Wha…whazzza?!! Who?!! Who said dat?!!!!!" Yugi screamed as he got to his feet and ran round like a monkey before climbing back into the bed. Yugi must've had to much to drink or something because for some strange reason he was poking Marik in his ear. Marik got angry at this…he picked Yugi up the scruff of his neck and trapped him in a set of draws on the opposite side of the room. He slammed the top draw with happiness of being able to sleep and headed back to bed. One of Yugi's arms was dangling out the crack of the drawer and dresser.

Marik sighed angrily and rolled over to face Yami. Yami had his eyes closed as if asleep but he was really awake…trying to get his best friend out of Marik's underwear. Marik thought he was safe to sleep but he was wrong….dead wrong…. (Off stage guy) "READ THE SCRIPT!!!" (Me) "MAKE ME FATTY!!!" (Stage guy) "FATTY?!! YOU'RE FATTER THAN ME!!!!" (Me) "Uhmmmmm….back to the story….."

Marik curled up under the comfort of his sheety goodness and fell asleep.

(Tetris music in background)

Yami saw Marik close his eyes and fall asleep. He saw this as he chance to get back Mr. Pack! Yami put his hand carefully down Marik's pants and into his underwear.

He had to dodge certain unnamed things to get his ice pack.

Yami got all excited when he felt the ice pack in it's destined destination: where the bear had bitten Marik.

"YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Yami screamed so loud that it woke Marik up (Tetris music stops with that zipper thingy happening to it). Marik almost had a heart attack when he realised some one was touching his privates….he looked down and saw Yami's wrist disappearing into his pants.

Marik screamed. Yami screamed. Yugi screamed he couldn't breathe from the dresser. Yami screamed. Marik swore and screamed.

"PHARAOH!!!!!!" Marik screamed as he punched Yami in the face and tried to get Yami's had away from **_IT_**….

Yami squirmed and fought back at Marik's pulling. Yami managed to grab something in doing so…..

Marik screamed again.

Yami screamed again.

Yugi made drugged polar bear noises from inside the drawer.

Marik screamed.

"I-i-i-i—i-ii-----…..I didn't do it!!!!!!!!!" Yami screamed at Marik, spit flew out his mouth and landed all over Marik's face.

Marik rolled his eyes and stared at Yami with the "yeah right!" expression on his face.

"Oh yeah……" Marik said with sarcasm as he glared at Yami's arm which lead into his pants. "That's just why your arm leads into my pants….." Marik sighed with hatred in his tone.

"Errr….yeah….." Yami did the guilty eye.

"Riiiiight…..can you let go of me now….?" Marik moaned.

"I'm not holding you….." Yami replied with confusion.

Marik did nothing but point down in-between his legs.

"Oh right…heh….. (clear throat noise)…." Yami replied as he let go of Marik and brought his hand back out to the surface.

(Outside view of house)

Yami all of sudden flew out the window of the room Marik was sleeping in.

(Back inside)

Yugi had begun laughing at nothing, Marik figured that there was no oxygen left in the drawer and Yugi was now breathing in used air, and it was going to his head.

Marik sighed at the Yugi as his arm madly swung about from out the drawer.

Yugi continued to laugh and talk about random stuff.

"Pokemon?" Yugi boomed from his new home (according to Marik), "Pokemon, with the Poke and the Mon and then the guy goes (gibberish. Yugi sounds like Bill Cosby on that episode of the Simpsons) RARARARARRAGGGHHHH!!!! QWAAH!!!! QWAAAH!!! OOOOOOOO!!! OOOOO!!!"

Marik rolled his yes then drifted off to sleep…

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Bijoux: Okay...That was pretty grose...err...anyway...please review... 


	9. You did what!

**Bijoux: Okay, a quick note, I'm not proud of the last chapter...but it kinda resulted in Corad sending some offensive email to some innocent person...(shudders)...I don't know why she didn't let me deal with my own troubles...not that I cared all that much about it...anyway...she better not have put that email under my name...(shakes fist at Corad's bedroom door) so I'm sorry to that person...anyway...I don't own Yugioh....never have....never will....**

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Chapter 9- YOU DID WHAT?!!! **

Marik awoke to the smell of something cooking downstairs. He climbed out of bed and slumped down the stairs toward the kitchen. Once he reached the kitchen he began to panic at the sight of Yami back in the house trying to make breakfast for Tristan, Duke and Joey.

"PHARAOH!!! NOOOO!" Marik screamed as something that resembled bacon and eggs flew out the waffle iron and splattered on the ceiling right next to other numerus attempts of breakfast, such as scrambled eggs, pancakes, toast, a stick of butter and things that Marik couldn't even make out…

"What…?" Yami asked in a plain tone as something in the microwave blew up behind him.

"Awww…there goes the coffee…." Duke moaned as he opened the microwave door and pulled out something that slightly resembled Kaiba's prized coffee machine.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!!!" Marik screamed as he scampered over to Duke and snatched coffee machine away. "YOU MORON!!!"

Duke cowered back to the breakfast table with Joey and Tristan sitting at it.

"Hey man, we're only tryin ta make ya some breakfast…den you come and get angry with dus…" Joey complained. Marik slowly turned his head to face Joey and death glared him.

"Shut up man…Marik is obviously not a morning person…" Tristan whispered at Joey, Marik however heard this comment.

"In fact he could get real angry at us for no reason…you know what he's like man…even worse than when Tea get's angry…" Tristan whispered.

"Yeah Tristan maybe your right…Marik is pretty women like to get angry at everything…" Duke whispered. Marik was hearing the whole conversation; even over the racket Yami was making while he was trying to make coffee in the blender, on top of the stove.

"WOMEN?!!!" Marik screamed as he picked up Duke and threw him out the window. Marik stood hunched over the breakfast bar trying to catch his breathe and to calm down. That however didn't come very successful, due to the fact that Yami was screaming on the count of the bottom of the blender was beginning to melt from the hot plate underneath it.

"Pharaoh…." Marik groaned as he turned the stove down and shooed Yami away. Yami whimpered over to the table and sat down.

Marik sighed then told Joey, Yami and Tristan to get out of the kitchen so he could clean up with peace. He felt kinda bad kicking Tristan out, because he, for once, seemed to be the intelligent one and didn't irritate him as much as the others.

Mokuba soon emerged out of bed and had appeared at Marik's side as he tried to mop the roof clean again.

"Um…Mr. Marik…what happened to my brother's, once clean, kitchen…?" Mokuba asked trying hard not to upset Marik.

"Little girl…" Marik began.

"Boy…" Mokuba corrected him.

"Whatever…" Marik moaned.

"Little boy…there comes a time in your kitchen's days, when it's attacked by a bunch of moochers….Moochers who think they can cook…" Marik hissed, eyeing the lounge room every now and then to make sure Yami and co. were still there, hopefully feeling sorry for themselves for thinking they could cooked like a decent human being…

"Oh…okay…" Mokuba sighed as he slumped into the lounge room to watch the hoobs. Tristan, Joey and Yami were all fairly happy when they saw their fuzzy TV friends; they clapped and cheered at them for their adventures but booed and threw tomatoes at the screen when they had to end to the telly Tubbies could go on air instead. Many tomatoes and rude insults were thrown at the TV when the Telly Tubbies came one. Tinky Winkie and La la were the main attraction of being payed out…due to…well….yeah….

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Bijoux: Neh....you people know the drill....(falls asleep...).... 


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